Guess who's back...

Well well well...there's nothing like taking a quick 2 year break from writing, huh? Like so many of you, the last two years have been life-changing for me. There's the good: I had a baby, got a new and amazing job, and have made some major breakthroughs personally. The bad: I haven't always been the best wife or mother, and I continue the overscheduled cycle of "things will get better once they slow down next week" on repeat. And then there's the ugly...the pandemic. I'll just start there, since thinking about all the other stuff that is happening (Afghanistan, Texas laws, wildfires, hurricanes, crazy resurgence of things like RSV and hand foot and mouth disease, materials shortages, gun safety laws, I could go on) just feels overwhelming.

The pandemic. I remember distinctly thinking in March 2020, "man, 3 weeks of no school? This is going to be hard." I was so naïve. Now here we are, 18 months later, and I am feeling more scared and hopeless than I did in Spring of 2020. Why? Foolishly, I thought that more people were just waiting for the vaccine to roll out so we could all move past this. I should have known that wouldn't happen, based on the ridiculousness of the anti-mask contingent. I know this has been discussed ad nauseum, but I really can't wrap my mind around people being so unwilling to put a light piece of cloth over their face to potentially protect themselves and others. Are we that selfish as a society? That self-centered?

So, some people don't want to wear a mask. Ok, I understand...it's annoying, hot, my glasses fog up, I like to wear lipstick, I can't hear anybody, and the facial recognition on my phone doesn't work. When the vaccine became available to me, I jumped at the chance. Am I young(ish)? Yes. Am I healthy? Yes. Do I have polio? No. Because I was vaccinated as a child, my parents trusted doctors and science, and so do I. I understand that I am not 100% protected against covid, and I don't think there's any reputable person who has said that vaccinated individuals are completely immune. What they HAVE said, however, is that if you contract the virus, you're SO much less likely to be hospitalized or have severe symptoms. You're also less likely to transmit the virus to others, although there is still a chance. Also, there is good data out there that the antibodies produced by the vaccine pass through breastmilk, so at least one of my kids has a little more protection.

I have 3 small kids, none of whom are eligible to get vaccinated yet. Though there is no longer a mask mandate in Ohio, we have started wearing them again, avoiding crowded spaces, and being more selective in who we socialize with because that is all we can do to stay healthy at this point. I understand that we can't just hide forever. I get that people get the flu and go on living their lives. Everyone in my family just went through a bout with RSV (which is its own special form of hell) and a stomach bug, so perhaps I'm just being extra sensitive about germs. Maybe I'm just tired.

Which brings me to my point here. I decided to start writing again not because I feel I have profound and novel things to say, but because it is cathartic. I have felt increasingly anxious, scared, and angry lately, like I just want to scream. Writing helps relieve that feeling. I am not really trying to change anyone's mind here, because to be honest, 90% of the people who will read this already agree with me. I promise not all the things I say will be complaints - there are some truly good things happening. I will write about those too, even if it's just to look back and remember that there is still good happening along with the bad and the ugly.

Stay safe. xx